Note from the Missed Connections Chief Bottle Finder:
The Washington, DC. MC is a feed that (I hate to say it) consistently disappoints me as so many of the messages are uninspiring, dull, and far from entertaining. This message, however, is a bit different. Makes me wonder what they were convicted for!
Missed Connections in Washington, DC
A TRAGIC HAPPY ENDING: AN ODE TO PIE
(cue the bongo)
Ass!
A Tragic Happy Ending
Playing with Checkers
Is somethin’ that we do
To relax in the morning
When we not hittin’ it….achoo!!
Baby you know I had to sneeze
Cuz’ Checkers done come up fast
I don’t got no cat allergies
But damn….it’s cat ass!!
“Seriously?” you have to say
While that cat is all whack and jiggy
It’s a phrase you use most every day
Of your many endearing traits….seriously, that’s a biggie!!
But then that look in your eyes
Oh yes, that yummy yummy look
Checkin’ out all those pies
We start to forget….I’m a convicted crook!!
Washing all your laundry would not be too hasty
Meanwhile, the pancakes are the heat
And the cinnamon rolls are quite tasty
But grindin’ in my dining room…damn, that’s pretty neat!!
A tragic happy ending would have made me sad
But YOU need to be happy, so go find your favorite pie
Then check out my Craigslist ad
It’s lamer than doin’ Crossfit…and baby, that’s no lie!!
CL’s not really for poems, but what do I care?
If I wrote to make some coin, it would all go to the ex
For all she put me through, I have surprisingly few grey hair
And besides, CL is much better…for finding anonymous sex!!
So my sweetie….playing with Checkers
Is somethin’ that we do
To relax in the morning
When we not hittin’ it….achoo!!
Ass!
(end bongo….take a bow…score with hot chicks who dig poetry)
