Musical Poets on YouTube
Note from the Missed Connections Chief Bottle Finder:
Minneapolis is a city I’ve long wanted to visit but never made the trek to. Maybe it’s the perception/reality of those seemingly endless midwestern winters… It’s almost July now – is the snow gone? (but wait, once the snow melts the black flies descend, right?) Today, we feature three messages from the Minneapolis MC feed. This first one illustrates just some of the many negative consequences of combining smoking with death metal.
Missed Connection With My Sleep
Missed Connections in Minneapolis-St Paul
For the last year I have been aware of your morning cleansing ritual, neighbor. Now that it is summer and we all have our windows open it has become a problem again. Every morning, about 7am you start retching. You don’t stop. Twenty to thirty minutes in the bathroom, repeatedly coughing and retching and retching and coughing. I get it, you’re fat and you smoke so your body is physically rejecting it’s self and all the filth you put in it, but that is really none of my business and I couldn’t care less. However, the main problem is the proximity of your bathroom window to my bedroom window, it sounds as if you are about to vomit on my head. Now, I think I have three possible avenues of recourse: 1) I could get up and vomit in your yard. I have a sympathetic gag reflex, it’s hard enough to hold it down during your daily deluge anyway. 2) ask you nicely to close the window, turn on a fan, something to cover the noise. That seems a little embarrassing and I am too shy, so… 3) DEATH METAL! When I am awoken by your outpourings, I will calmly set my speakers facing your way and obscure the noise with some Cannibal Corpse, Lamb of God, Dying Fetus, etc. I think it will not take long for you to get it, or shut your own windows in frustration. I can only hope that the music pains you to a fraction of the extent that your retching disgusts me. It wakes me up, it keeps me up and it makes me sick so suck it, neighbor.
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