Musical Missed Connections
I Wrestled An Alligator Off The Road For You
Missed Connections in Savannah
It was pretty big. The car in front of me swerved to avoid it.
Actually I moved it off the road because it might get hurt by a car and/or might cause an accident…but I lied and said that’s where I got the flower for you. It just sounds cooler to say you wrestle swamp monsters in chivalrous combat to attain flowers for women. I’m glad you agree random reader named Heather.
I thought about you at work today. I also thought about how cool it’d be if I invented a robot that would go to work for me every day and bring home my money. I’d call it Rusty and keep it meticulously clean, thereby inferring the grand irony placed upon him via his misnomer for a name. Then I’d install a small voice box and pre-recorded sayings and songs from the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. I’d program him to destroy any Furby toy or Justin Beiber cd on sight, and take him to ice cream shops with me to awkwardly ask the attendant “Aren’t you going to take Rusty’s order?”. Getting kicked out would kinda suck, but we’d have a good laugh. Mine would be less electronic but no less awesome.
-Blue
ps…All you Heathers were all like “OMG How did he know it was me?!”…totally worth it.
ps again…Side note really, but presently relevant: People who throw parties at apartment complexes are complete tools. No one wants to hear your crappy music vibrating through their walls. Your friends are douches who can’t hold their alcohol without punching someone they just admitted to loving (in the middle of the parking lot at the top of their lungs).
I’m not saying I hate you, annoying neighbor with no sense of where the F you live…I’m just saying that if this is love…
Her Two Cents from the Missed Connections Chief Bottle-Finder:
The Savannah feed has been super slow for a long time but recently there’s been a slew of highly unique messages from an individual named “Blue”. I can’t quite tell is there’s a narrative that links all of them or if they’re random, individual bits about people encountered throughout the day, but I’m looking forward to finding more.
