Random Weirdness Archives - Lovelorn Poets

Lovelorn Poet in Montreal, QC: A Crow In The Know

August 12, 2020 by lovelornpoets

A Different View of You by Pavonne

This is my friend

His name is Fred
Don’t be fooled
He ain’t off his head
He announces death
And carries darkness

He knows what he’s doing
I’ll have you know
He’s is quite
An intelligent crow

He may look strange
Hanging upside down
And yes you may look puzzled
And wear a frown

But my friend has discovered
To avoid a cat
It often helps
To pretend you’re a bat

But a bat’s like a mouse
I hear you cry
But cats don’t like mice
That can fly

So forget the rumours
You may have heard
He knows what he’s doing
He’s no batty bird

Thought we could all use a little something fun and lighthearted and this found poem from the Montreal Missed Connections fit the bill perfectly. Even if you’re not a crow, occasional inversions can certainly help to improve mood and restore energy. Being upside down has its benefits even if it looks a bit batty. 😉

Lovelorn Poet in NYC: The Time Traveling Monster Returns

October 22, 2018 by lovelornpoets

Urban Monster photo by caruba

After an extended stay in the pitch black nothingness that exists between moments, I have emerged from my cocoon of absolute zero only to find myself thrust into a mindless opera of cultural decay.

So I’ve returned to the sweet embrace of this carefully concocted prison we call planet earth to offer my services once again. Whether it be a mischievous spectre causing the proverbial bump in the night or a crawling chaos shrieking through rifts in time and space, I can kill it.

Well versed in the ways of the old ones I promise to remove what is causing your increasingly exquisite form of suffering. Send me an email detailing your issue and we’ll go from there.

This message was placed in the Manhattan Missed Connections a year or so ago, and it resurfaced a few times. I also seem to recall it was posted on a few different MC locations. I’ve always been a bit tempted to respond to these messages to see what it’s all about – is the person behind this a real life ghost hunter or is it just another scam? But I’d prefer to simply save and ponder than know the real answer.

Lovelorn Poet in Ann Arbor, MI: Halloween Mischief List For Grown-Ups

November 9, 2017 by lovelornpoets

Halloween Mischief List For Grown-Ups by unknown

1. Kiss someone you want to but shouldn’t
2. Steal something innocuous
3. Write down something naughty and hide it in someone’s coat pocket
4. Swear
5. Tell an irrelevant lie for no reason
6. Start a dumb rumor
7. Think something salacious about someone you like
8. Tell a secret to the cold, dark wind.
9. Act on a devious impulse

Capitalize on that good time for a bad idea! What could possibly go wrong?
1. Kiss on a devious impulse
2. Steal something naughty and hide it in someone’s coat pocket
3. Write down something salacious about someone you like
4. Swear a secret to the cold, dark wind
5. Tell a dumb rumor
6. Start something innocuous
7. Think an irrelevant lie for no reason
8. Tell someone you want to but shouldn’t
9. Act

Lovelorn Poet in Brooklyn, NY: Have A Problem With Ghosts?

April 26, 2017 by lovelornpoets

Lego Monster Hunters by DEX

Time traveling monster hunter here with over a millennia of experience in removing all manner of ghosts, ghouls, inter dimensional entities and demons of all shapes and sizes. whether it was born of smokeless fire or came screaming through rifts in time and space, I can kill it. service is always free of charge as I’ve found no use in material wealth. All I request is a detailed email first of what is happening. due to the volume of things “that should not be” lurking in all corners of this fine island, if its possible for you to safely remove the spectre on your own, I will walk you through the process step by step, but house calls will be made if necessary.

Have a Problem with Time?

Lovelorn Poet in New Orleans, LA: You Were Catfishing For Organs And I Swallowed The Hook

March 6, 2017 by lovelornpoets

Urban Myth No. 1 by Flood G.

You super liked me on tinder so I knew it was fishy. Your pictures were fierce full of beauty, strength and softness, the type to leave the flesh sweat slicked and wanting but insides bruised. You seemed like all the bad parts to a Townes Van Zant song in all the best possible ways. Gram Parsons wrote your soundtrack back in 72 and Tom Robbins tried to harness you before you’d even come true.

I know you were just a hook for the black market and had we met up I’d of just had my organs harvested and at best woken up in a tub of ice and blood half dead and half dying. But I sort of feel that’s how a morning after a night with you should feel. I swipe left now for every other broad until the day your flagged account returns.

Dear Kate with the masturbate heading, Polaroid tinder pics that tug at my heart strings….and lungs, liver, kidneys, spleen….and whatever else the black market needs. Or dear to whomever wrote your dialog at least, let’s go lay out by the Pearl with a fire and songs and the static of sex clinging to flesh, till maybe it archs, or maybe it doesn’t…

The Organs Swallowed the Catfishing Hook

tinder fishy flesh hook like a
Townes Van Zant Gram Parsons Tom Robbins
sweat slicked soundtrack
the bad parts and the best ways
leave me wanting
you

the black market organs
tug at my harvested heart strings
woken up after a night with you
full fierce bruised beauty
your clinging flesh

strength and softness,
lungs, liver, kidneys, spleen….
let’s go lay out
in a tub of ice
sex and songs

swipe now for Polaroid pics