Saw you in Whole Foods.
You were the mango chutney and Mediterranean sourdough bread,
I was the chipolte asiago cheese and blackberry pomegranate juice.
We were standing close together at the salad bar by the wheatberry curry dip. There was electricity.
Chemistry.
Something.
I leaned in and said,
“Can Iput my thingie in your hoohoo?”
You just walked off.
Was the magic of the moment just too powerful for you?
Come back.
Meet me at the dehydrated tropical fruits next weekend.
It was chemistry.
Met at the Bills Game and I Called You a Dirty Little Hamster (Buffalo, NY)
Looking for the brown haired girl who was wearing a Lee Evans jersey.
You tried to sell me a used ticket stub for 20 dollars.
Out of anger I called you a dirty little hamster and then proceeded to tell you to lick my balls.
You then started to chase me down on foot for what seemed like a mile.
I eventually hid out near the porta-potties where I lost you.
You told my friend you were going to find me and punch me in the face but I’m here to make that easier for you.
I hope we can put our issues behind us and be friends because I think you’re hot.