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Missed Connection in Raleigh-Durham, NC: Why Didn’t I Kiss You?

January 27, 2011 by lovelornpoets

Regrets by xkcd

It would have been so easy to do,
but I didn’t
lean over
and
kiss you
like I wanted to,
because I’m
some kind of loser.
I think you would have been surprised
but cool with it.

At least the movie was good.
Maybe next time.

Her Two Cents offers daily commentary on missed connections selected to appear on Lovelorn Poets.

Her Two Cents on Why Didn’t I Kiss You?

Dear lovelorn poet from Raleigh-Durham, there is nothing that I can say that isn’t already communicated in the xkcd comic. Just remember, Newton’s Third Law (you know, the one about equal and opposite reactions) doesn’t necessarily apply to matters of the lips unless you’ve got some nasty halitosis.

Gentle Readers: In the spirit of reviewing our elementary school science lessons, let us now consider how the infamous Law of Inertia plagues so many potential pairings. Do you prefer being the “external force” who takes charge and sets events in motion or, like our lovelorn poet, are you positioned in a relatively inert state watching the movie unfold?

Missed Connection Asheville, NC: In Courtroom 1

January 18, 2011 by lovelornpoets

I sat to the left of you in court today.
I really wanted to say something to you but I didn’t want to look bad in front of the bailiff or judge, you know, because you’re not supposed to talk in there and all.
I got the feeling that you would not mind at all if I said something, though.
I remember thinking about asking you for a pen or pencil so I could write you a note.
haha. What I would have wrote is this:
I think you are cool. Want to be friends? You have a real neat tattoo on your left arm. I drew a picture of it to the best of my ability and recollection. So if you read this you will know that I am referring to you. We did exchange smiles or giggles I suppose once, because I was sitting on your dress. I must say that you kept that seat very warm and cozy for me whenever we were told to scoot down the bench! lol

Her Two Cents offers daily commentary on missed connections selected to appear on Lovelorn Poets.

Her Two Cents on In Courtroom I

Bonnie and Clyde are alive and well in Asheville, NC (and set to some infectiously sexy dance beats thanks to Stereolab, Serg Gainsbourg, and Brigitte Bardot). Let’s hope these two were sitting in traffic court and that their worst crimes against humanity are “Failure to come to a complete STOP.”

Gentle Readers: While we all have fantasy images of where we will meet our one great love, in reality, those dreams don’t always play out as expected. Where did you meet your love? Or better yet, where would you like to meet them?

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Her Two Cents: Serenade at Greenlife, Asheville

January 12, 2011 by lovelornpoets

Her Two Cents offers daily commentary on messages selected to appear on Lovelorn Poets.

The Lovelorn Poet from Asheville, NC wrote:
“I guess you didn’t expect me to be so enthusiastic about being serenaded
while shopping because you couldn’t think of a song. But you’re the cutest thing since sliced bread and pickled peaches, even if I ended up going to the hotbar for dinner.“

Oh Asheville poet, how were you to know that your enthusiasm for an America Idol audition in the middle of the grocery store would leave the object of your desire with stage fright! Poor thing. Next time suggest a night of karaoke. That way you can sing her the Steve Miller song with the line about liking peaches.

Gentle Readers: In considering the encounter described by our Asheville poet, can you recall a time when something romantic and magical happened to you in the grocery store (and I’m not talking about buy-one-get-one-free deals on ice cream)? Would you consider your primary food shopping destination to be a place worthy of “checking out” the other customers? Do tell…

Missed Connection Asheville: Serenade at Greenlife

January 12, 2011 by lovelornpoets

I was looking in the cold case for something to eat
and you asked if I needed anything.
I said no and you replied that perhaps you should sing for me
while I decided on what to buy.
I guess you didn’t expect me to be so enthusiastic about being serenaded
while shopping
because you couldn’t think of a song.
But you’re the cutest thing since sliced bread and pickled peaches,
even if I ended up going to the hotbar for dinner.

City of Champions by Striatic

Her Two Cents: Bologna vs Ham (Asheville, NC)

January 4, 2011 by lovelornpoets

Her Two Cents offers daily commentary on messages selected to appear on Lovelorn Poets.

The Lovelorn Poet from Asheville, NC wrote:
“We had a brief conversation about the health aspects of luncheon meats Sunday evening…”

So, you found yourself tongue-tied and twisted in the grocery store deli aisle when presented with the object of your desire. Rest assured, dear poet, that the hunting and gathering of food is still a desirable mate-trait, so just showing up to shop scores you points. Now get on your game and get back to the grocery store!

Gentle Readers: In reviewing the situation in the deli aisle what is your opinion on the ham vs. bologna debate? Can love of bologna be a date-breaker?

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